I have always been different. I've been called weird, unconventional, hyper, crazy, and a Pollyanna. It's hard to be judged so harshly for simply being myself and I ended up doing what most of us do. I hid.
For years I tried to fix myself by earning degrees, wearing the right clothes and behaving appropriately in public. I chose the safe career path. I stopped pursuing my creative dreams. I built a reputation. I became known for my professionalism, ability to handle responsibility, and my great work ethic.
Finally, after years of hard work, I had arrived. People respected me.
I wasn't the weirdo anymore.
It totally sucked.
The funniest part of the whole thing was-I was always different. I just thought I had covered it up. I still had outbursts of wackiness, would break out into song for no reason, and would wear crazy shoes to my corporate jobs. When these things happened I would be told to "tone it down," "act my age" and "behave professionally." In other words, I was still judged just as harshly as when I had let it all hang out.
Once I realized that I was always going to be judged, always going to be different, and always going to feel awful when I pretended to be someone I wasn't, I felt free. That's right. FREE. It was like a light bulb turned on and I realized that there was absolutely nothing I could do to keep people from judging me. Nothing. I realized it was a waste of my energy to even try to fit in. So I stopped trying to change and started being myself.
It was awesome.
I have always been different. I've been called weird, unconventional, hyper, crazy and a Pollyanna. I've also been called brilliant, creative, effervescent, positive, unique, inspiring and magical. But I never noticed these things until I developed the courage to stand in the real power of being ME with no apologies...